Nobody can help me

I hope that the computer will break down right now.

I hope that the internet will be having some problem.

I hope that the tv will spoil.

I hope that my leg will be sticked on the floor.

I hope that my butt will be glued on the chair.

and,

I hope that my eyes will see only chemistry.




Now, God also cannot help me liao :(

I am never so terrible.

I can get

ss very easily when I am studying.

I am so bored.

hahahaha, I like this picture,

it just looks like a drawing after editing. LOL! right?

Just feeling boring lah. hehehe.

Gooooooo, one more week left.

I'm so relieved!

that the toughest week of all is OVER!

it is finally over!!!!!!!

I am feeling over the moon. hahahaha.

I feel so relieved,

although I didn't do very well in those tough papers.

Add maths, I did very badly in paper 2. :(

Biology, worse. I slept at two am the night before. I was feeling soo sleepy during paper 2 and I quickly simply did it then slept on my paper 45 minutes before the paper ended. No one did that. I was so awful. Don't know how it would be when the result comes out.

Physics, better although I only started revision from form 4 chapter one the day before. Damn, my revision was so last minute! Father nagged me, he said I should plan my timetable to do revision properly and never burn the midnight oil. Phew, I did! but, the timetable was no use for me. It was something dead and it couldn't do anything to me even if I went against it. hahahahaha! Did my revision until 3am and I still had 3 long chapters to do, I thought I would fail badly. I slept lah, I didn't care. hahahaha! The next day in school, I piaaaaaaaaaaaaaa until so hard and finally managed to finish all the stupid chapters left before the paper. -,- I was super nervous, later mr.wong releases my paper how? ISH.

Now, I have taken one day on leave! hiak hiak!

Starting my chemistry revision tomorrow (do hope I can do so).

I don't want anything last minute again, the feeling is super duper pek cek, feel like giving up everything liao. hahaha!

STUPID MID-TERM, so meaningless.

Honestly,

I like add maths compared to other damn science subjects.
I hate science, I don't know why.

I just hate science, even until now. hahahaha!

By the way,

I lost my bao bei love chain :(

It just dropped on the floor from my table,

and I couldn't find it anymore. -,-

Ish, maybe the TU DI GONG loves my thing and absorb it into the ground liao.

hahahaha!

Just to relieve my tension.

Goodbye! :)

I must work harder!

LOL, at last I still come to blog. :) hehehehehe!

I feel so boring studying lah.

I realise that when I get older I am worse in studying. D0n't know why, last time I could study very easily although it was already very very last minute.

God Bless Me this time. :(

I must work harder, I do not want to disappoint myself.

ISH.

All the best!

It's time to say bye bye

I shall find some time to update about the debate competition at HICT and KRS MUT. :)

I should study liao, but I am still procrastinating. hahaha!

Time's running out stupid, must moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee on now!

So, I shall say BYE BYE to my blog, perhaps also my facebook and twitter? Quite impossible lah. :P hehehe!

I am so stresssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed out!

Mom, you are so great!

Today is mother's day.

Happy Mother's Day mom! I love you :) I wish I could tell you later. hahahaha!

My mom is so busy today. Morning wake up early to fetch my sister and I to attend a class. Then fetch us home and after that fetch my sister to tuition class again! -,- Come back, she needs to fetch me to stupid place at 1pm. I told her no need but she says nevermind. :( At 3, she has to come and fetch both of us from two different places. Omigosh, so kang kor -,-

Nevermind, after all the fetchings both parents and sister and I are going to watch IP MAN 2! wheeeee :) hahahahahaha! Hopefully they won't check my IC lah.

Mommy, I love you!







You are the greatest mom ever.

I-City

My family went to I-City without bringing me along. :(

And they advised me to never go there because, the place is terrible worr?

I don't know lah. hahaha.

Undeniably, it is very beautiful.

What else can I do

I can't do anything.

What I can do is ONLY,
accept it and live through it. Right?

But, I'll never be happy. And, I am suffering.


SERIOUSLY!

Meaningless

Well, recently having a very severe dilemma.

Seriously I don't know what should I do. I try to cheat myself with many excuses like last time so that I can be more responsible. But, till this very year, I really do not want to do it anymore. I am really sick of it. Sick of trainings and all those stuffs. Yes, I know it's good for us, maybe even for our future, but you just don't understand, I can't do things I don't like. And, I hope that you can understand, and stop forcing me. :(

It's very very very super duper irresponsible to behave like that, yes I know. I know it very clearly. I didn't want to do so, but everytime when I think of going for competition and trainings, I feel so scared and I really get mad. I am mad at myself because I know my heart, I know these are things I don't like to do but I still did them.

I told you. But why you still ask me to go? At first I refused to join the state level, but you convinced me that this would be the very very very very very last time. Even if we won in the competition we could choose to continue or quit. Yes, I was very stupid and so I was convinced. On the very day I already chose to quit. I told my decision right after the result was announced. I never delayed on that because I knew it would be too late if I didn't tell early.

But now what? People who are convinced are considered quite stupid, like me. I feel like I am cheated and now, I have to go on on everything I don't like to do. This is very torturing and I suffer in it.

I really suffer.

Yes, I know it's super useless to hold on my decision till now. It is so stupid and useless. But, I just feel so depressed. Even if I join, I will never be happy. Somemore I am going to have mid-term in two weeks time and you guys think that cocurriculum activities and academic are similarly important. Yes, both of them are important. But, only those who are able to cope with both at the same time can do this. I am not that kind of person. I cannot focus on both at the same time. In the end, I will do very badly in both aspects. I don't want this kind of results. At least let me do a little better in one of them, and let me give up on the other. Can I? Can you?

Someone told me this before, Never do things that you like only, but do what you have to do. I tried to stick to this principle before, like last year. What I got in the end was, unhappiness. I really don't want that! I really don't want I really don't want I really don't want! I really don't know what to do already. Follow my heart is very wrong, follow what the others do also wrong, for me* So how?

If one of you see this, you will definitely get mad at me. I am really sorry. But, I cannot hold back my feelings any longer. I need to say it out, to let you know, that, this is what I am thinking.

This MIGHT be what I really want. I am not sure. Honestly, my parents encourage me to go. They say that this is a good opportunity. Maybe I can learn something or get a useful certificate which MAY BE useful for my applications in foreign universities next time. But I told them I didn't like it and didn't want to go either. Then you know what they told me, then don't go lah. -,- OMG, they are actually very cincai only. Therefore, I still don't know what to do.







Maybe I should not be determine anymore. It's so useless and it's totally very meaningless. What do you think? Mind to give me some opinions?

I really need help. Guide me, please.